So. This is the second time I’ve posted a piece of my writing, and I don’t think I’m going to hide in my closet this time. Maybe under my bed. Or outside. Definitely not the basement. Too many spiders. Or maybe I won’t hide at all. But I’ll stop talking now and get onto the actual point of this post.
“Jason?” Clarence called up their apartment stairs. The two brothers—twins, actually—had decided to share an apartment in their senior year of college. Money was tight, and since Clarence had transferred to Jason’s college, it seemed like the best option to be roommates.
“Yeah, I’m up here,” Jason yelled through the bedroom door. “Need something?”
“I’m going on a run. If you need me, I have my cell.”
“Have fun. Thanks.” Jason let out a sigh of half-depression and pulled out his supplies—his iPod, a notebook, and a pen. He was nervous. Usually, he just prepared for a game with a short nap, a brisk walk, and then prayer. But this basketball game was different. It practically decided the rest of his career. Jason was restless, nervous, and stressed.
Clarence didn’t notice the difference because he was too busy studying for finals. So Jason did things differently. No nap. No walk. No prayer. He just scribbled, blasting music in his ears. He threw the black ink across the page until it was a deep, black abyss. When Jason couldn’t find one more white speck on the paper, he sat back, temporary feeling satisfaction. But eventually he just felt worse. Jason tried sit-ups, push-ups, even doing some dishes. But no matter what, he just fell further into despair. He sighed and plopped down onto his unmade bed. What if he failed? His whole life depended on this game. He needed to calm down, but what therapy was left?
Then Jason paused and listened to what was rushing through his ear buds. “I am with you, I will carry you through it all, I won’t leave you, I will catch you, when you feel like letting go, cause you’re not alone.”
It hit Jason that he hadn’t tried everything. He’d completely overlooked the best place to toss his worries, restlessness, weakness, and despair. So Jason turned off his iPod, knelt down on his knees, and humbled himself before God with tears of shame.
As Jason’s day went on, he felt the calming and peaceful grace of God flow through him. When it came time for his big game, he was prepared—no matter what happened. As he ran out with his teammates, he quietly thanked God for His beautiful strength and mercy.
*Song lyrics belong to the band Red.*